Friday, March 7, 2008

I was in the lecture, just staring into space as I have no idea what the lecturer was saying. So while I was lost in my thought, this girl friend of mine Diana, interrupted my train of thought by saying, “Fikir kan Taufik eh?” and I replied no and smiles.

For once, after so long, I was thinking of _ _ _ _. Especially on how 3 semesters ago, he was one of my close friend and his messages dominated my mailbox daily. He was there when I was bored. He was there to share my laughter and provide me with encouraging words when I was down.

I was truly upset and angry when my Nokia 5300 phone spoilt because that phone contained many hidden stories: stories that I have kept with me all along and stories of our amazing friendship. But now, the phone had died and nothing can be saved.

I agree that the strong feeling isn’t there as much as it has been 1 and a half years ago. I guess we both have grown and are very much into making our own stories with new people.

I remembered the first day I landed back in Singapore from Dubai on your birthday; I was told that you were seeing someone. I was disappointed and upset. I cried cause I felt cheated and only weeks later, I found out that it was just a rumor. But it has been too much and has made my heart ache tremendously. And ever since then, the feelings slowly subside each day.

I remembered our ‘rose promise’, ‘you being in your Holiday Inn’, ‘the lemon tea – so near yet so far’, ‘green Adidas jacket or any other jackets that is always on you’, ‘the time at my school prata shop as well as Jalan Kayu plus the cat(s)’, ‘the JB trip’, ‘the one without visor when it was raining’, ‘the esplanade day’, ‘the many silence moments’, ‘the 2 hours wait’ and many others. Oh dear, I am missing all of those.

I vividly remembered that you said that you were not shy but I still disagree till date. You are funny and amazing and I miss it. I really do.

After secret, you came in. You eliminated the feelings I have for secret. Then, I have you in mine for close to a year (or probably more or even till today). I don’t believe and don’t agree that it was all a mistake. (But being with that someone was a biggest mistake ever. I regretted being in it.)

_ _ _ _, the memories have never fade away. Many things still remind me of you and till today, your smiles still blew me away.. =)

I wish to know you back as before but there were many things that have came in between. Let me leave today’s entry about you, with what you say on 16 December 2006,
“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Kalau You nak My Roses, Nanti lah Dulu!”



Missing the time,
Nish